5.11.2009

From the Inside Out - Everyday

Disclaimer: This is it. The big one. The one about the kids, the church and the 'OMG, I'm leaving' crap that you've all been waiting for. If you're not up for reading about my feelings - Don't.

It's over.
I remember when I called Maria and exclaimed exstatically that 'We're going to Dalarna in less than three months!!!' and we were at the very beginning. Way back when some of the kids were to shy to even speak in our prescence. Back when everything was infront of us. And two days ago we gave them our blessings and said our prayers and sent them out into the world. Most likely I'll never see some of them again. A select few are gonna be leaders - which warms my heart. And some will fade, slowly but fondly into the back of my head, only to be thought about when in the mood for heavy nostalgia.

This weekend has been several months long. From friday night with Charlie to sunday evening with.. Charlie, it's been one of the most emotional trips I've ever experienced. I've cried, laughed, almost thrown up - both from alchohol and completely sober. I've felt numb. I've felt too much.

I've realised that the biggest, most important label I've ever placed on myself is 'Youth Group Leader'. And now I'm not, not anymore. And I don't know when I'm gonna be again. I'm so scared it's not even funny. But Dan is giving me and Charlie a send off, complete with a service and everything, so. I'll make do. Until the 25th of June, I'll walk around with 'Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades...' in the back and forefront of my mind, and I'll make do.

Christ Crew - I love you. Deeply. Thank You.

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